“Controlled Surrender”

Last night as my husband and I were preparing for bed, I was struggling with some heart issues. I was telling him how I thought some things should happen in my life, how it needed to be this way and not that way, etc.  I also told him how I felt God calling me to surrender. He said you know what it  sounds like to me? It sounds like “controlled surrender”. That hit me between the eyes so to speak. Surrender and control just are not companions. This has been really huge in my life right now-the surrender thing. So right now I’m on a journey to discover what it means for me to surrender.

So I started with a word search. What does control mean? Control is to exercise authority, influence, regulate, measure, curb, or limit. I find that daily I try to control things, people, or circumstances around me. Why do I feel this desperate need? Where does this come from? What message does control send to the people around me and even to myself? Control manifests itself in different ways in different people.

What is the meaning of surrender? Surrender is to relinquish possession or control. It is to give up in favor of another, to give back, yield, abandon, and resign. Why is surrender so difficult? What does surrender look like?

What does trust mean? Trust is a firm belief in the integrity, ability, or character of another. Trust is care, hope, friendship, and confidence. Trust and surrender are twins. Why is trust so hard? How does one develop trust?

Matthew 10:39 tells us “He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it”.  I believe this verse tells me that unless I surrender totally and fully to God I will ultimately lose my life. I certainly don’t want to lose my life! So I come back to the question; what is surrender? In a sense, surrender means to simply quit running. Stop right where I am and give  myself to God, the good and the bad. Surrender means for me to stop trying to fix things on my own. Quit trying to bring life into something that is dead like attempting CPR on a plastic doll. Therefore the idea of controlled surrender is not possible.

To surrender fully is to know the Object to which one is surrendering. Therefore to truly surrender to God, we must KNOW Him! How does one KNOW God? He must spend time with Him by reading God’s Word, singing, praying, giving of thanks, and of spending time with other Christians. Notice what God is doing around you every day. In the book of James  he tells us that we can know that “every good and perfect gift comes from the Father”.

Finally, surrender always brings peace. A deep-seated rest that no matter what comes our way, we can KNOW that “all things work together for the good of those who love God”. Surrender is a daily discipline.

I’m still on my journey. I still have so many questions so I would like to hear from you, my readers. Please respond to this question: What does surrender look like for you in your life? How do you practice surrender?

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